AkiraYamagata

I often wondered why I had so many ideas in the past and I was able to draw most of my ideas out on papers, even if they're bad. I just realized that even before I switched to digital art, it was already hard for me to even be inspired by SOMETHING, at all. Then I figured it out. It wasn't just an artist block. It's more like I lost interest in drawing. It doesn't feel as fun as it used to be. It probably has something to do with my emotional state throughout these years but I just can't put my finger on it. I no longer find joy in something that I used to LOVE. That's something scary isn't it?

Normally, my reaction when I return to some dead website that I stayed before it would be something like 'Ah, it feels good to be back'. I'm not sure about this one, ahahaha. Mainly because my previous artworks and journals are all CRINGE MATERIALS. Yep, I said it. I only came back because I started to make digital arts a few days ago and HOLY SHIT it was addicting. I was kind of like a traditional (noob) artist back then but I guess I wanna try and break the barrier to see what I can do you know. Either way, it feels... WEIRD to be back. Lmao.

Lately I'm tidying my old art files together with the new ones. Suddenly, I found one of my old favorite and take a glance on it. Then I take out one of my latest artwork and compare it with the old ones... and I found out that my art style changed a lot. CHANGED. A. LOT. And my reaction is like: OMG WHAT IS THIS SHIT. ಠ_ಠ And now by just looking at my old artworks I could vomit. llOrz Yeah, really. No wonder people always say that "Whenever you look back at your old workings you'll always feel that they're lame or something. " ... (v==ll)